A Message to My Baby Brother on His Wedding Day

My brother is getting married today.

He's in a completely different part of the country preparing for his nuptials with his waiting bride and my parents by his side. I truly wish I could be with them, but that is not what is in the cards this time around.

Perhaps this is more à propos, since my mind set is less than jovial when is comes to a life of the married couple. But despite the shattered image I experienced, I find myself remembering the hope and excitement that I felt on the eve of my marriage, and so with this in mind, this is my wish for my brother and his Latina lady.

Chef,

Today you will be committing yourself to another person, body, mind and soul. I'm so very glad you're not as young as I was when I got married, I'm so glad you've taken your time to get to know this woman you've decided to share yourself with.

When you look at her, see not only her absolute perfection, but also her flaws as these make her whole. See your reflection in her eyes, how she sees you as a wonderful person whom she has chosen to share her heart with as this is no small gift. Treat her heart with the utmost care as she has chosen you to care for it in all of its various states of being. Be honest with her, notice her, love her with abandon when you feel the most vulnerable.

When the waters get rough, take her by the hand and know that you can only float as long as you work together. Never keep your hurt under lock and key, speak of it without blame as it is yours and not hers, in turn she will do the same. Remember that she cannot read your mind and know your every thought even though it may seem that way at times.

Learn from her. You have come together to learn from each other, but not specifically to teach other other.

Laugh together.

You are not her master and she is not yours; the old connotations of marriage no longer have any place in this world. You are equals and I hope you always regard each other this way.

At the root of it all, remember your love for her, which should, at its very heart, be a profound friendship that can carry you through the rest of your lives.

My very best wishes to you on this very special day. My love to you both.