Original Choice

I was speaking with Dixie this evening and amidst the colourful conversation, we came across the topic of Original Choice.

What is Original Choice? It's the point at which you, as an individual, choose the fork in the road which you want your life to move in. Seems simple enough; I want this so I will go in this direction. But what this really refers to is the choice regardless of circumstance.

Obviously we all make choices as to what direction we move in, but we are also given the opportunity to blame our current circumstance upon the factors of our upbringing. I did poorly in school because my parents made me feel inferior and that is why I didn't continue onto University and now work at McDonalds. Why is it that a set of identical twins that were raised in an abusive household where they were beaten daily, locked up and treated as subhuman creatures can each evolve in completely separate directions. One grows up to be a chronic drug user, going from homeless shelter to rehab and so on, whereas the other grows up to head a multimillion dolloar corporation and each attribute their lot in life to their upbringing.

We are each placed upon the planet with a blank slate and we move through a series of experiences as children that do in fact shape and mold us as individuals, but that doesn't mean that we are doomed to sit in failure if our upbringing was less than stellar. I grew up in a home with two alcoholic parents that each went through recovery. I learned as a young woman, that I was at a very high risk to repeat this behaviour or to acquire this disease, yet I did not. I cannot say whether this was a choice or rather a fortunate evolution of my DNA, but it remains that I do not retain this disease. Each day that goes by affords me the opportunity to choose what kind of person I am going to be; will I be a person that wanders through life unconscious of the possibilities available to me and sit in victimhood of what life throws at me or will I look to what I want to achieve and look for the infinite possibilities that can bring me nearer to them.

The past two years have allowed me to observe myself and grow in ways I hadn't realized were necessary to my own personal evolution, but I finally feel as though my head has emerged from the proverbial sand if you will allow me to wax self-indulgently. I finally feel as though I am able to observe the dish laid forth before me and decide whether this is a meal I wish to partake in. If I have no desire for it, I can decide upon another until I find something that suits my fancy. This isn't a case of "This is what I made for dinner and you will sit here until you damn well finish the entire serving!" because through this power to choose, we have the ability to take action upon our desire and make them into reality.

How fortunate are we to have the ability to observe ourselve and tweak as we go! I've been given a great deal to look at over the past little while that I haven't really taken a moment to appreciate what a wealth of choice I've got at my figertips. I finally see it and tonight, I find myself sorting through this mass; a triage of sorts to refine my outcome.

I am not responsible for your impression of me, I am merely responsible to myself for my impression of myself. Everything else is completely outside of my control.